Whiskey Spilled on Cowboy Boots

POV: You walk into a packed honkey-tonk in Cowboytown, USA and promptly order a couple of whiskeys. As you strut over to a cutie-patootie in daisy dukes you knock shoulders with Tex Cattleman, a rootin’ tootin’ son of a gun, and spill your hooch all over his fine leather boots. Before you can say “hold your horses'' he stomps out his cigar then sweeps a road house-style roundhouse kick right at your chops. You narrowly avoid the wallop as a fine spray of sweet tobacco and spicy bourbon goodness slips off his boots and covers you from 10-gallon hat to steel toe. As the brouhaha for this one horse town begins you can only think to yourself, “I never want to smell like anything else ever again.”